You know better

I’m reading a book by a woman who remembers her past lives. She wrote seven different books, each depicting a different life.

In “Winged Pharaoh” she is the daughter of a Pharaoh. She asks a priest what an adulteress and he says this:

“There are two kinds of adultery. The first kind is the woman who lies with a man when the voice of her own experience tells her it is unwise. This is wrong because, in being mastered by her own body, she has weakened her will. But all of us when we are young in spirit pass through this stage and we must reap unhappiness from it…”

Holy shit, did this speak to me.

The second type of adulteress is one who sleeps with someone for her own gain. Since I’ve only joked about giving head to get ahead, I don’t connect with this one as much.

So back to this first adulteress, the one who is me.That awkward moment when a priest speaks to your heart from a millennial away through a writer via her past life memories.

How many times have I known better? How many times have I turned off my intuition and sold my power? How many different excuses have I had? How many times have I convinced myself that my first reaction wasn’t wisdom, but paranoia? How many times have I weakened my will?

And how is that showing up in other areas of my life?

Every time I decide my own power of intuition is wrong, and I listen to a force outside my inner-voice, I make it habit. By ignoring my voice of experience when I’m with a guy who I know is wrong for me, I write a pathway in my mind for me to ignore myself. So when I’m at work or when I’m being creative…I hesitate. I lose my first reaction or leave it for something that seems safer, nicer, smarter. Life isn’t meant to be lived that way. Getting down to the core of yourself, knowing exactly what you want, listening to your truest voice, and refusing to do anything other than what it tells you is the point of life.

I do know better. In any situation, I can chose to quiet thoughts, take a breath, and listen to find the flow and step into alignment with what I know is right for me.