I’m an aquarian, an air sign, and an over thinker. I contextualize things, I put words around things, I work hard to solve the problems in my head. The thing which is so frustrating is that I’m good at what I do, and I can speak anything into being the sticky, backslide I’ve been fighting so hard to avoid OR I can weave it into a story of learning and softening. These dueling realities fight back in forth in my head–one or the other gaining the upper hand based on conversations, horoscopes, and which TV show I’m watching.
So which is it? Which is the truth? How do you move forward when you can see how both of your thought lines are contrived and fabricated and easily influenced? How do you follow your heart when it knows what it wants but it’s hurting your soul? How do you see your past pain as a gift and a stepping off point, rather than something you have to keep enduring until you “figure it out?”
I’ve done a lot of work recently, and here’s what I’ve found.
First- Stop the thoughts. Thoughts are lies, strong suits, habits. Thoughts become words which become reality. We’re so used to following the same synapses…this means this so this. All these things we’ve learned in the past–how can you get a different outcome if you’re using your brain that’s become habituated to the way things have been? Stop the thoughts. Whatever it is–don’t trust your thoughts. As soon as you stop trusting them–they lessen.
Feel. You don’t have to have a reason why you feel the way you do. No explanation is necessary. Feel. How do you feel? Angry? Scared? Confused? Embarrassed? Break it down…what’s underneath there? Is it love or fear based? Don’t put reasons or words around it. What is it? When I get down to feeling without contextualization, it gives me the space to actually experience the feeling. Then I have a much better view–instead of my emotions controlling me, they inform me.
Recognize whatever you chose to do is not final. You cannot control the universe–yes we can manifest things–but there is a million different forces at work here. Relax. Let go. You will never make a wrong decision. “Wrong” is a label without any true meaning here. Recognize that although you may think this thing will lead to this other thing…it might not. Decisions are decisions–they’re important to make to keep moving, just know that your decisions don’t govern other people’s actions or the rest of the universe so–it’s not all up to you to make this place work. Let the flow do its thing.
Don’t be attached to the outcome. This is key. Once you know that you don’t control the universe–it set’s you free, because you are not responsible. You do the best you can–you make decisions based out of love as best as you can figure it out and then watch with wonder. See what the universe has in store for you. Don’t think that just because something doesn’t work out the way you wanted, it means you did something wrong before. It just means it didn’t work out that way. Anyways, we all know that our “want” changes all the time–once we get something we’re interested in a different something. Outcomes aren’t final either.
Grab some good meditation. Identify some of your own lies. Have a sit down with your feelings. Don’t stress, whatever happens, it won’t be the end of the world. Be open to receiving whatever the universe has for you. Decide. Choose whole-heartedly and don’t for one second resist your decision. Decide and receive.