VitaraagaviShayM vaa Chittam (Sutra 1.37)
Swami Vivekandanda translated this as: “Meditate on the heart that has given up all attachments.” By meditating on the life and actions of someone who has achieved what we would like to, we gain some insight into how we can do this ourselves.
This is what we’re going for when we do yoga and when we meditate—achieving non-attachment and equanimity, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. When our love isn’t attached to expectations or “owning” anything then it is truly unconditional. Unconditional love has no room for fear. We know our love will stay the same, no matter what the outside world throws at us. If our love is dependent on other’s actions, we only love them for what they do for us. Do we love them or what they do and how they make us feel? Focus on how good it feels just to let love flow out of you into someone else. Love is an amazing experience. Revel in the beauty of your own love and it’s unreachable depths.
Sometimes people are scared because they think this feeling of love will leave them and they won’t be able to feel that beautiful way anymore. What we need to remember is that whatever someone else does, it doesn’t need to affect our love for them. They can wrong us and our love can stay the same. It doesn’t have to be attached to any expectations or outcomes. We can set it free all on your own and you can decide to experience love no matter what.
By responding with love instead of fear or anger, we can show our strength, not weakness. Sometimes we think we need to get angry to show that we aren’t okay with something and to prove our worth, but that’s a societal lie. Loving is an act of bravery and it shows you don’t deserve to feel badly, just because of someone else’s actions. A strong person isn’t afraid to choose love. A strong person knows their love will always feel good and give them an amazing experience.
Here’s the other thing. Love will never run out. Our heart will grow every time we choose to show and be love. We don’t have to worry about wasting it on someone because we will always have more love. We can choose to spend our energy by loving those who appreciate and benefit from your love, but we should never be afraid to spread it to those who don’t. We will gain more and every day we will live in a beautiful state of being.
Krishna Das once said, “Love is not relationship, love is who we are.”
So focus on being who you are. Don’t attach your love to a person, or a relationship, or expectation of what should be happening for you. Just live in love.